99 Songs
by Amorye
Summary: Life's lyrics are just never complete without music.
1. Nothing Lasts Forever

**99 Songs  
**_Life's lyrics are just never complete without music._**  
**

This is going to be a personal challenge. I'm going to make ninety-nine different oneshots, and they come with a corresponding song. They aren't supposed to be related with each other, but I guess they could be. They're going to cover any pair that strikes me at the time of writing, so don't be surprised if I go and randomly pair people. And yes, **there will be OCs**.

With that said, know that there is a **very high chance for girl-girl and boy-boy pairings**, better known as **yuri **and **yaoi**, respectively. I can accept criticism, and willingly will, but I don't appreciate flames that are poorly thought out and badly written.

**DISCLAIMER**: _Fillmore! is owned by Disney and distributed by Buena Vista International, and created by Scott Gimple. I only own the ideas, and some of the characters, and made-up places. The songs are copyrighted by their writers and composers, and I am merely using them to apply to my work. I am not to be held responsible for inappropriate content, for a brief but precise gist of what to expect was stated in the first parts. With that said, enjoy the story. (;_

_Let's start things off with one of my favorite M5 songs. Hope you like it. _

---

02.16.08

**Nothing Lasts Forever**  
_Maroon 5  
FillmoreIngrid, IngridAnza_

_--- _

_ It is so easy to see,  
Dysfunction between you and me._

We were always the perfect pair. I couldn't imagine life without her. There wasn't a mention of Fillmore without Ingrid. Ingrid, I loved her dearly. She had been my first girlfriend, my first love. The first person who I had never expected to come in my life who I could not forget.

I thought of her every waking moment and every night before I slept. In my whole life, I'd never been in love. Love brought me pleasures, but it equally gave me pains.

_We must free up these tired souls,  
Before the sadness kills us both._

The best day my life was when I met her. I was immediately interested in her, seeing her standing out among the rest. She was pale, beautiful, and had the clearest and greenest eyes I had ever seen. She was smart, too. And she didn't care what people thought of her. She never did. Until she fell in love with someone else.

_I tried and tried to let you know,  
I love you but I'm letting go._

She fell in love with Joseph Anza. He was another officer in the force, and well, I couldn't blame her. Why, Joseph was the epitome of utter perfection in a guy. He had the looks, the brains, the body, the talent, and the attitude. I honestly have no idea why he stuck to the force, when he had literally hundreds of opportunities to develop his talents even further. I suppose he was there because, perhaps, like me, he loved to do stuff like this.

While I admire Anza, I must admit that I'm jealous. He'd already had everything he could have ever wanted, yet he takes the girl I wanted. That just wasn't fair.

___It may not last but I don't know,  
Just don't know._

She fell in love with him, I saw it in her eyes. It crushed me to see that. I loved her. I knew she loved me, but I wasn't the one she loved most. What hurt even more was that we were steady when I saw that look in her eyes.

Sometimes I wished I couldn't read her like a book. I found out too many truths that hurt.

_If you don't know,  
Then you can't care._

For the first time, I got mad at Ingrid. She used to always make me happy. She always made me smile, no matter what she did. But looking at someone else with the same look she gave me when we first kissed angered me so much that I avoided her for a few days. That was something shared only by myself and her, no one else.

And you know what? She hardly noticed I was ignoring her. _  
_

_And you show up,  
But you're not there._

After a while, I gave up. I talked to her, when she asked why I wasn't answering her calls. I told her that I was busy. All she said was a simple, "Oh." Nothing more. What was that?

I asked her to meet me by the pond. I was ready to break up with her. I wanted a quiet area, just so I wouldn't be distracted by anyone or anything and go crying in front of her. I never cried. Not in front of anyone, at least. I had to maintain a degree of pride. Hell. I'm sure you do too.

She did come. But her mind wasn't there. When I called her about three times, she wasn't answering. I ran up to her to discover she was talking on the phone. I took it from her and saw his name on the caller ID. I was ready to explode at any time._  
_

_ But I'm waiting,  
And you want to,  
Still afraid that I will desert you._

In all honesty I never wanted to break up with her. I really loved her, but I never could let her go. I just didn't want a reason to keep her from having the guy she loved. Really, honestly, and completely loved. I knew I wasn't the one. But I was still afraid to leave her. I didn't want her out there, without me keeping a watchful eye over her. I didn't want anything bad to happen to her.

She accepted the fact that we were no more. And her face actually said that she was upset. Expectedly, she ran into the open arms of Joseph Anza. My heart was just too broken to give a damn. I didn't want to cry. I felt, that the longer I put up with her, the worse the heartbreak would get, once she herself breaks up with me. I didn't want that.

_Everyday,  
With every worthless word we get more far away,  
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay.  
_

I know it was bad to channel my revenge like that. But I needed to. If she broke me, then my life would be as worthless as Mickey Mouse Money.

I deliberately avoided her for the next few weeks. She knew why, and could only cast a sorry glance at me. I knew she was feeling guilty, and couldn't bear with it. Ingrid was never one to talk about the matters of her heart, except the one that held it.

_ But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe,  
It hurts but it may be the only way._

Nothing good ever lasted forever. What was the use of happy endings, when it was better to have a happy story? I don't want to go through hell for an ending. I want heaven while everything's happening here. But I guess I can't get it, because everything I want is in the arms of another._  
_

_A bed that's warm with memories,  
Can heal us temporarily._

I have no idea on what to do. I want to talk to her, but I can't, after crushing her heart like that. I guess I was too abrupt in breaking up, that it broke her too.

When I was contemplating on whether or not to do it, I really wanted to break up because, I didn't want my heart to fool me into believing she loved me, and to keep myself from being broken by her. But did the breakup help? I don't think so.

___ The misbehaving only makes,_  
_ The ditch between us so damn deep._

I wish I could take that day back. I want to take back those ten minutes and tell her that she was the only one for me, to tell her that I loved her, unconditionally, forever. I wish I could just put up with what I hoped to be her lust for Joseph. Right now, the only times we talked were when we were working. I cherished every second.___  
_

___Built a wall around my heart,  
I'll never let it fall apart._

But for now, my heart will be guarded, and closed. No one will be open to it. There was no one else I would wait for but her. I wasn't going to let myself fall apart like I did with her. I wouldn't let anyone do the same. With an attitude as stubborn as mine, would I ever learn to love again? ___  
_

___ But strangely I wish secretly,_  
_ It would fall down while I'm asleep._

But what if she never comes back? What if she was destined to be with Joseph? Why, from afar, even I have to admit that they look so perfect for each other.

Then I wish to die if she never does.

___Tough we have not hit the ground,  
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,  
Oh I want so bad to pick you up._

I loved her. But I needed to let go. If she came back, then we were meant to be. I prayed she would.

And one day, she just came to me. She pulled me aside, and asked if we could talk. I said nothing, and just complied. Whatever she wanted to say, I felt my heart leaping with joy, because this was a chance. A chance that could say that she was coming back to me.

But what she said wasn't at all what I was expecting. She was telling me she was afraid to lose Joseph. That just hurt, because I felt like what we shared became nothing to her. It was a slap to my face, but I took it with forced compusure, a remarkable ability I had learned from Anza. She told me that he was deathly ill, and that she had only found out that morning. No one knew he was sick, heck, no one even noticed or expected that he could be sick. And she was afraid to be away from him, afraid to let him go.

In a split second, I realized that she was also going through the same pain that I had been going through as well. Suddenly, all the hurt that was inside me had gone. I suddenly lost all the romantic feelings I had for her. I didn't understand why, but my head and heart told me that we were two of a kind. I remember that opposites attract. And we were anything but.

So I was there, a friend for her. Someone she could lean on and confide in no matter what. I must've depended on her too much to get me through every day. She didn't want help from me. She just wanted a shoulder to cry on.___  
_

___ But you're still too reluctant to accept my help,  
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame,  
But until then the fact remains._

Yes, nothing lasted forever. Young love didn't. And pain didn't either. I learned to accept that Ingrid now only saw me as a friend and confidant, if you will, and nothing more. I also learned to tear down the wall I'd built around my heart and just wait for the same spark I felt when I was with her. Who knows, she could've been a glimpse at things to come. Who knows, maybe the next one that comes into my life could give me greater joy than she ever did.

One thing's certain. I can never predict what this life will bring. I'll never know until it happens. But until then, nothing lasts forever, except true love.

---

Yes, kind of a cheesy ending, but hey, there you go. Hope what I wrote was worth reading or at least skimmed over. I'd like to know your thoughts. Thanks for reading.


	2. Teenagers

**99 Songs  
**_Life's lyrics are just never complete without music._

Thank you for the nice reviews! So, here's the next update to it. (; I guess this'll be pretty funny. I dunno. I found it funny to write.

Oh right. I forgot to warn you. Cursing will be... pretty abundant in this fic. LOL. Remember that these're basically plotless.

The songs actually help use the not-so-used analytical side of my brain. Awesome. XD**  
**

**DISCLAIMER**: _Fillmore! is owned by Disney and distributed by Buena Vista International, and created by Scott Gimple. I only own the ideas, and some of the characters, and made-up places. The songs are copyrighted by their writers and composers, and I am merely using them to apply to my work. I am not to be held responsible for inappropriate content, for a brief but precise gist of what to expect was stated in the first parts. With that said, enjoy the story. (;_

---

02.19.08

**Teenagers**  
_My Chemical Romance  
Folsom. Just her. LOL. Folsom's thoughts.  
_

_--- _

_They're gonna clean up your looks,  
With all the lies in the books,  
To make a citizen out of you._

Damn it. Seriously. Damn it. This school was a fine institution, yet so many... oh, where's Raycliff when I need him? What's the word? Ah. Delinquents. Why so many delinquents at such a good school? Why, we have one of the best, or dare I say, the best safety patrol force in the state, and perhaps even a hundred miles beyond! This was a government-funded institution, and I couldn't just spend for repairs all those upgrades! Occasionally there were donors, but hardly ever!

Christ! I broke that vase again. I've got to cut out throwing that, because poor Francis is getting tired of gluing the thing back together. It's not worth much, but it's turned into my stress object of sorts, and it's got some sentimental value in it. I wouldn't part with it.

_Because they sleep with a gun,  
And keep an eye on your son,  
So they can watch all the things you do._

I check my appointment book, and well, there are not one, not two, but ten children and ten sets of parents to go through today. Why didn't I just stay in Middle School? And I thought high school students were easier...

John Green, who's in for drug dealing... Alaina Clyde and Timothy Nigh in for having sex in the janitor's closet... Kristy Michaels in for stealing... Perry Wilkins, Garrison James, and his twin brother Paul in for brawling in the halls... Janet Yide for stealing as well, Arielle Corrs for indecent dressing... and finally Louis Hyde for vandalizing.

Good Lord. Sex? Indecent dressing? When I was in high school, things like this hardly ever happened? How I long for the good old days, and not this. I have to face parents and try to control the students to keep the honor of the school.

I am so happy I got a raise.

_Because the drugs never work,  
They're gonna give you a smirk.  
Cause they got methods of keepin' you clean._

Drugs! So I have to send a student to rehab because he's been drugged on marijuana for three months and hasn't told anyone? And why didn't anyone notice? I guess those security cameras were a good idea after all.

Apparently he had family problems. We've got good guidance counselors here! Why didn't he speak up? Those drugs never work! And this was the first person Ive heard of that can keep up his appearance while doing drugs.

_They're gonna rip up your heads,  
Your aspirations to shreds.  
Another cog in the murder machine._

And you know what? Just a few weeks ago, it was in the news that a group of teenagers had been messing with Ecstasy and GHB at the back of the hockey field! It took me the course of a month to earn the trust of concerned parents back.

What do they get from drugs? I honestly do not understand. They're only teenagers. This is the stage when they're rebelling and misguided. Parents are too soft these days. Their children don't seem to have many aspirations. They take life like it is and go on living like there was no tomorrow. So complex are these people.

Ugh. Teenagers.

_They said all  
Teenagers scare the living shit outta me._

What's funny is that I don' fear the parents and their comments about how loose I let their children at school, saying how well-raised they are, how careless I was, how pathetic my reasoning is that the school's like a small city and that my capabilities weren't able to meet what this job actually required...

You get the point. I was sick and scared of the teenagers themselves. Unruly rebels.

Luckily not all of them were like that. But those that were like that really stood out. Which I hated. They ruined the school name.

_They could care less as long as someone'll bleed,  
So darken your clothes,  
I'll strike a violent pose,  
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me._

LEAVE ME ALONE! I need that Swedish now! God, the knocking never stops! I even hear it in silence! Damn it. Anyway, I let the person in. Who knows, it could be good news. I'm always hoping for a ray of sunshine to come through the gray sky I had.

_The boys and girls in the clique,  
The awful names that they stick._

My hope was short-lived. Oh goodness. The "emo" crowd or whatever you call those black-wearing, weird hairdo-ing, crowd is fighting again with the athletes, frocks or... jocks or whatever you call them. I can never memorize the names of their groups. Goodness. Let the safety patrol handle it. I don't doubt Fillmore's and the Anzas' abilities to stop a fight.

_ You're never gonna fit in much, kid.  
But if you're troubled and hurt.  
What you got under your shirt,  
Will make them pay for the things that they did._

It's hard being their principal. But honestly I couldn't imagine my life without this position. If I had to cut my "term" short, I would probably go crazy, always expecting a multitude of calls and knocks on the door, dry-cleaning the endless blue suits I have, requests for starting something new, borrowing, offense lists, and the like.

Yes, I do love this job.

It's just the teenagers that make it hard.

---

Ehm, kinda pointless, but I just wanted to try and see what Folsom thinks about being the principal. The connection of the song to her just made me laugh, so I wrote something. Damned plot bunnies. XD


	3. If You Were Gay

**99 Songs  
**_Life's lyrics are just never complete without music._

Once again, thanks for reading. Do review, please, even if it's an anonymous one. It encourages me to keep going and to know that people actually read.

If there's a specific pairing you want, or a song, go review me. I don't mind review spam as long as it isn't a disorganized flame. XD

LOL, random event. I was searching for Fillmore on P2Ps, and what ended up were like, horny disneys fillmore, disneys fillmore orgasm on webcam, and other provocative stuff. LOL. Anyway, onwards.

**DISCLAIMER**: _Fillmore! is owned by Disney and distributed by Buena Vista International, and created by Scott Gimple. I only own the ideas, and some of the characters, and made-up places. The songs are copyrighted by their writers and composers, and I am merely using them to apply to my work. I am not to be held responsible for inappropriate content, for a brief but precise gist of what to expect was stated in the first parts. With that said, enjoy the story. (;_

---

02.24.08

**If You Were Gay**  
_Avenue Q - Rod and Nicky  
O'Farrell is Nicky, and Fillmore, Wayne, Anza, and Anza's brother (OC, obviously!) will act as Rod. Or several Rods. _

_--- _

Danny O'Farrell enters the dorm. They're staying overnight at school, for some reason he knew but forgot now. He's just back from an errand that the boys had sent him to do. When he entered, he saw that Ingrid and Karen, and the rest of the girls of the force were out. They were out... doing God knows what. No pun intended, whatsoever. He just found it weird that the guys remained.

A weird incident just happened on the way back. Which he was about to divulge to the others. He noticed their groan when he came back, but dismissed it as a reaction in their conversation. So he just walked up to them, and started his own topic.

"Hey guys, I finished that documentary thingy you wanted done. You know what, a _strange_ thing happened to me." he said, dragging the word, strange. "I was in the bus right? And you know, this guy was smiling at me, talking to me about the randomest stuff, and he was being so friendly. He must've thought I was gay."

He received glares vicious and poisonous enough to burn a hole in his eyes.

"Why're you telling us?" said Fillmore. "Yo, why should we care about some gay guy you met?"

"Well, I guess it's something we can talk about, cause you know--"

"No! Let's move on to a more pleasant topic, shall we?" said Wayne. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Easy there, guys. There's no need to be all defensive. Why, it was just a random guy!"

"Stop already!" said Joseph. "We're trying to work here!"

"And I'm _not_ defensive!" added Wayne.

"What're you implying?" asked Jared, Joseph's older brother.

"Nothing! Oh, come on, I was just sharing."

"Okay, stop already!" said Fillmore, and threw a jacket at Danny, who narrowly missed it.

Danny shrugged, wondering what came over his co-workers, to give a proper term. He was just sharing, and suddenly they got all moody over it. So, as a last resort to hopefully cheer them up, he broke into a song.

"Well, okay, but just so you know —

_"If you were gay,  
That'd be okay.  
I mean cause, hey,  
I'd like you anyway._

"I'm not gay!" came several voices.

"_You're_ gay." said Fillmore.

_  
Because you see,  
If it were me,  
I would feel free to say that I was gay.  
But I'm not gay._

Wide-eyed, and unsure of what to make of it, Fillmore didn't stop his reaction.

"What the hell, O'Farrell?"

But he was ignored, as he kept on singing.

_"If you were queer,  
I'd still be here._

"O'Farrell!" yelled Wayne. "Stop it!"

_"Year after year,  
Because you're dear to me._

"We are?" said Jared, looking up from his laptop, looking slightly flushed.

_And I know you,  
Would accept me too,_

"I would? For what?" said Jared.

_If I told you today,  
"Hey! Guess what? I'm gay!!"  
But I'm not gay._

The boys were contemplating on whether or not to slap Danny unconscious, but it would be breaking the rules, according to the look that Jared gave them.

Damned spoilsport goody-two-shoes older brother.

_I'm happy just being with you.  
So what should it matter to me,  
What you do in bed with guys?_

"Danny, that's gross! Stop it or I'll--" Joseph broke off mid-sentence, when his brother threw his science book at his head.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, glaring at Jared, who was also attempting to restrain himself from hitting Danny.

"No it isn't gross!" said Danny, ever being the open-minded person he was. Yes, he knew what gay people did in bed. He caught his brother once-- oops.

Joseph threw a glare at his brother, who gave a look that said that it was their duty to still be role models for the rest of the students.

Even if they were being pissed off by their co-worker.

_If you were gay,  
I'd shout hooray!_

"NOT LISTENING!" yelled Fillmore, covering his ears. "LA LA LA LA." he said, tunelessly.

_And here I'd stay,  
But I wouldn't get in your way._

"Oh my God!"

"Fuck you for saying that!"

"I'm not gay!"

"I don't have sex with guys, you lunatic!"

Despite the harsh words, Danny still kept singing.

"Who said anything about sex?"

"Danny did!"

_You can count on me to always be,  
Beside you every day,  
To tell you it's okay,  
You were just born that way,_

Wayne pulled his right Converse shoe off, and threw his shoe at Danny, but Jared, being the goody-two-shoes he was, caught the shoe before it hit Danny, and giving Wayne the same "uphold the rules" look as Joseph. But when Danny turned his back, Jared made a motion of hitting him, earning a fit of giggles(?) and restrained laughs from some of them. Jared's jaw dropped at the giggling, and mouthed "Gay."

The others just glared at him.

_And as they say,  
It's in your DNA,  
You're gaaaaay!_

"Fuck, I'm not gay, and it isn't in my DNA, you asshole!" yelled Jared, unable to control himself anymore. He was about to hurl the shoe he caught earlier at Danny's head, but the door suddenly swung open, and Danny was standing near the door, thus Danny's head being hit by the door, and consequently, knocking him out.

In came the ladies of the force, confused at the shoe, the unconscious Danny O'Farrell, and the four boys looking a mix of surprise, embarrassment, harassment, and annoyance.

"What happened here? You guys look like you've been accused of something." said Karen.

"Er, no. Um, Danny just got uh, knocked out because um..." Fillmore started, a little to quickly for the girls not to be suspicious.

"And what's with the shoe? And the jacket? Why's the place a big mess?" Ingrid asked, frowning,

"Well it's a funny story cause..." Wayne started.

"Oh, really?" interrupted Ingrid. "Do tell. What've you been doing in here? Did something happen between you four that Danny somehow interrupted?"

"No! We were working!" said Fillmore.

"Are you sure you weren't doing anything?"

"What're you saying, Ingrid?" asked Joseph, even though he knew what she was implying.

"You're gay, aren't you?"

---

Meh, on sugar high. Definitely wasn't my best, cause I'm sleepy yet can't sleep. XD It's 12:43 AM right now. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Such a hilarious song!


	4. My Almost Lover

**99 Songs  
**_Life's lyrics are just never complete without music._

Slash warning, people. I can't resist. I, for some sick reason, like this pairing.

Still, thanks for the reviews. (;

**DISCLAIMER**: _Fillmore! is owned by Disney and distributed by Buena Vista International, and created by Scott Gimple. I only own the ideas, and some of the characters, and made-up places. The songs are copyrighted by their writers and composers, and I am merely using them to apply to my work. I am not to be held responsible for inappropriate content, for a brief but precise gist of what to expect was stated in the first parts. With that said, enjoy the story. (;_

---

02.24.08

**My Almost Lover**  
_A Fine Frenzy  
AnzaWayne _

_--- _

_Your fingertips across my skin,  
The palm trees swaying in the wind,_

It was the last summer of high school, and probably the last time they would see each other. He was going back to New York, to study law, like his father, in Columbia University. His brother had taken the same course, yet studied in Princeton. He knew Joseph loved the city life and preferred it in Columbia, even though he liked Princeton and Yale better. He, meanwhile, was headed for Blackpool, to study engineering.

They were down at California, just the two of them. They were both seventeen, going on eighteen soon, and were trusted enough to keep safe. And they knew that they'd miss each other terribly. They'd had this secret affair for over a year, ever since the start of junior year, though they'd been eyeing the other since sophomore year. They were so good at keeping it a secret, no one had ever suspected a thing. 

And probably they never would.

_You sang me Spanish lullabies,  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes,  
Clever trick._

Joseph lay down beside him, under the night sky at the beach. He could only hear the lapping of the waves against the shore, and the faint sound of voices talking from afar. He sighed, remembering Joseph's voice, just a few weeks ago, singing this Spanish song that he couldn't understand, playing the guitar. He performed, as the music teacher forced him to, else he got a D. 

Joseph placed his hand on top of his, and with a quiet voice, said,

"We can never be, can we?"

He turned his head slowly, and faced his friend. "No." 

_Well, I never want to see you unhappy,  
I thought you'd want the same for me._

It was the cold, blunt truth. And it hurt. Both of them knew it. 

"You're still going with Karen, aren't you." said Wayne, more matter-of-factly rather than a question.

"Yeah." he replied. "She's one of the reasons why I picked Columbia too."

"That's nice." he said, turning over to his side. Even though he said that he accepted it, he just couldn't. It was too hard to say goodbye and too hard to accpet that he wouldn't be able to do this with Joseph anymore. Their time was up.

"Hey." he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It was bound to happen, today. And Wayne, this is the one night I'm never going to forget. Ever."

"Let's go back, please? Right now, the sea seems so depressing."

_Goodbye, my almost lover.  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream._

"You're only a past dream now." said Wayne, as they walked up the path. 

"You're a memory." said Joseph, equally morose.

"And I hate you." 

_I'm trying not to think about you,  
Can't you just let me be?_

Joseph didn't look all too surprised. But the words hurt, plunging a dagger right through his heart. He said nothing, knowing that a full-fledged argument was in store if he did. And he didn't want to argue on their last night together. 

"My high school secret affair. That would probably best label you." he said. "The guy I've known since pre-K, and ended up being in a miserable fucking relationship."

"Wayne... please. I don't want to leave yet, either."

_So long, my luckless romance.  
My back is turned on you._

"I just wish I knew how to quit you." said Wayne. "I can't take that I love you so much." 

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache.  
Almost lovers always do._

"Wayne..."

"You know what, we never should have even done anything. Maybe it was best to have left our feelings to ourselves. I'll never get over this. And I'll never forget the worst pain I've felt in my life."

"You'll find someone better than me. Stop it already."

"I can't."

"You're not the only one being hurt by this. I am too."

"You brought me pain. It's probably a mutual connection between us."

_We walked along a crowded street,  
You took my hand and danced with me._

They went down the crowded street, lively with people dancing and drinking. Joseph checked his watch. He had twelve hours more with Wayne. 

"Come on." said Wayne, tugging at his hand. "Might as well make the last hours worthwhile. Let's go get a drink."

Joseph agreed. Probably the mind-numbing effects of alcohol could help him forget how much Wayne's earlier words stung him. Heck, maybe something would happen tonight.

When he woke up the next day, all he remembered was being at the bar and drinking to his heart's content. He had never gotten drunk before, and probably Wayne was sober enough to get them both in a cab. And in fact, Wayne was sleeping right next to him when he'd gotten up.

He looked at the digital clock on the nightstand, bearing the digits 7:00. _Only three more hours left_, he thought, sighing. He sent Karen a text message, saying he was leaving in a few hours, to which she immediately replied to, saying that she was glad to know he had a blast with Wayne.

Just as he finished typing up another reply on his Sidekick, Wayne woke up,actually looking...well, _happy._

"Dude. One hot night." he said, smiling crookedly.

_And when you left, you kissed my lips,  
You told me you would never, never forget.  
These images._

The goodbye came easier than either of them had thought. But Joseph knew that it wasn't the goodbye that would hurt, but rather it was living without what the two of them had shared. Sure, they could keep up in IMs, e-mail, letters, and all, but nothing could ever match up to being with the other in person.

"Wayne." called Joseph, when Wayne was walking away. 

"Yeah?" he said, turning on his heel.

"I don't care what they say." he said, and suddenly, he caught Wayne in a long, heated kiss. 

_I cannot go to the ocean,  
I cannot drive the streets at night,_  
\/p

He was eighteen already, and driving the streets of England. He'd had a great first two semesters at Blackpool, and he was already courting this cute girl he'd met at a partyin one of the first weeks of school. Elizabeth, that was her name. She had light brown hair and green eyes. In a way, she reminded him of Emily, his first friend at Tennessee. Sweet, always attentive, and very understanding. 

He smiled at the thoughts of her, as he pulled over to the board walk, leaning on the rail. He sighed, remembering that the ocean was always the place where he and Joseph sought comfort.

_I cannot wake up in the morning,  
Without you on my mind._

Joseph was always on his mind, but little by little, he was starting to loosen his attachment to him. Slowly, but surely, he was growing up from his past. 

_So you're gone and I'm haunted,  
And I bet you are just fine._

Every now and then, memories of the pain hit him, but he never let them get to him. Even those moments of pleasure haunted him, making him want to travel back in time to relive it. Love. Sweet, yet painful. And like his attachment to him, the flashbacks became less and less, until they were nothing but distant feelings that he'd never have again. 

He knew Joseph was all right. And he promised to attend his and Karen's wedding, which was probably not too far off. 

_Did I make it that,  
Easy to walk right in and out,  
Of my life?_

To Wayne, their relationship was an open door. They walked in, they walked out. And when they walked out, it led them to more opportunities in life. It led them to go more places, reach more doors, and reach their goals and aspirations. The door never closed, because they could never be.

_Goodbye, my almost lover.  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream.  
I'm trying not to think about you.  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance.  
My back is turned on you.  
Should have known you'd bring me heartache,  
Almost lovers always do._

Almost lovers bring heartaches indeed. But even if they do, they leave a mark in your heart. One that would never fade. But true love, true love doesn't leave a mark. It takes over the entire heart._  
_


End file.
